Funny Travel Stories
I had someone ask for an aisle seat so that their hair wouldn’t get messed up by being near the window. What’s that all about.
A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost information, she asked, “would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?”
I got a call from woman who wanted to go to Captown. I started to explain the lenght of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with “I’m not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts. “without trying to make her look stupid one, I calmly explained, ” Capecod is in Massachusettes, Captown is in Africa.” Her response…click.
A man called,furious about a Florida package holiday. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of a state. He replied, “Don’t lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state.” No wonder i have grey hair!!
You will love his one
I got a call from a man who asked, “Is it possible to see England from Canada?” I said, “No “He said “but they lookso close on the map”.
Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When i pulled up the reservation, I noticed h had a 1-hour lay-over in dallas. When i asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, “I heard Dallas was a big airport, and i need a car to drive between the gates to save time.”
A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8.20am and got into chicago at 8.33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Ilinois, but she cound not understand the concept of time zones. ( she needs to watch star trek ) Finally i told her the plan went very fast and she bought that!. (thank goodness)
a woman called and asked, “Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know who’s luggage belongs to who?” i said, No, why do you ask?” she replied, “Well, when i checked in with the airline, thay put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and i’m overweight, is there any connection?” After putting her on hold for a minute while I “looked into it” ( I was actually laughing ) I came back and explained the city code for Frasco is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a distination tag on her luggage. ( poor love )
OOOOOOOO dear i just got off the phone with a man who asked “How do i know which plain to get on?” I asked him what exactly he meant, which he replied, “I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them.
” A woman called and said, (you will love this ) “I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those computer planes. “I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said “Yeah, whatever.”
A business man called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. “Oh no i don’t I’ve been to China many times and never had to have one of those.” I double checked and sure enough his stay requires a visa. When i told him this he said. “Look, I’ve been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express”.
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Grachtenfestival – Amsterdam’s annual canal festival – provides nine days of classical performances, made up of over 70 concerts held around 20 different locations, including a series of free performances given in the gardens and homes and on the roof terraces of canal side residents. The event, culminating with the impressive Prinesngracht concert, is held on a floating state in front of Hotel Pulitzer and attracts thousands of classical fans.
But Grachtenfestival isn’t all about old fashioned classical pieces; “Shhh…it Happens!” is a new breed of musical incorporating rock with classical music to create a musical noir that tells the story of a brother and sister who get mixed up with a bunch of out of control freaks in an abandoned theme park, which is guaranteed to take audiences on a rollercoaster ride
The festival also offers rare opportunities for aspiring classical musicians and singers to meet and learn from some of the greatest names in business. Opera singer Nelly Miricioiu, who has sung many parts in belcanto operas of Rossini, Donizett and Bellini, captivates opera audiences worldwide with her lyrical qualities and will be running a master class and searching for talented young singers during this year’s festival.
And if classical doesn’t cut it for you, Amsterdam has plenty of other festivals to float your canal boat. Queensday is the celebration of the Queen’s mother’s birthday, and the whole of Holland becomes one big party. Amsterdam turns orange and assumes a carnival atmosphere with big parties, Dutch and international artists and plenty of loud music.
Or how about Hartjesdagen, a festival where men come dressed as women and women come dressed as men, which some historians believe dates back to the Middle Ages. Film buffs can take pleasure in the Amsterdam Fantastic Film Festival, which celebrates a range of genres: fantasy, horror, scenic fiction, thriller, anime and cult, and incorporates both Dutch and international cinema.
With several airlines serving UK to Holland routes, making the journey is easy with plenty of flights to Amsterdam to choose from.
From classical concerts to Dutch carnivals, summer in Amsterdam is filled with festival fun, so it’s not surprising that plenty of people come to the city in search of more than just coffee shops and cannabis.
A Tapestry of Travel Destinations
To sail the oceans offers a unique perspective on your chosen region, as you visit country after country on your holiday be so wonderfully so relaxing. As you appreciate some subtle changes in culture, language and cuisine, chic resorts and most of all sleepy islands on consecutive days.
Once ashore, how you experiance such culture and destinations is in your own hands, you are free to explore independently, making your own way to and from your ship.
Why not try Mediteranean Fly-Voyages and embark on a leisurly winter Caribbean Holiday, it’s making me want to book as well.
The Treasure of The Caribbean
Your flights lands inMontego Bay and you are plunged into the hectic atmosphere of the airport crowded by the hordes of tourists: groups, couples and families. A jolly tune of a steel drum band welcomes you and so do hundreds of merchants trying to sell you almost everything: beer, cool drinks, newspapers, souvenirs. They greet you in the Jamaican manner: ‘Yah Mon’ (yeah man), ‘Y’allright?’ (are you all right?), ‘Whaapen’ (what’s happening?).
Finally you find the resort representative. ‘No worries mon,’ says he while helping you whith your luggage. Now brace yourself, the ride to your resort is about to star. The bus driver seems to have no regard to his, yours or pedestrians life and if you are motion sickness prone — you’d better get a paper bag ready. Oh no, he seems to be driving the wrong side of the street! ‘No worries mon’, it’s a tradition the Brits left here. By the way, this is a good reason not to rent a car in Jamaica.
Once you left the airport park you start noticing contrasts. The stunning Blue Mountains are surely a breathtaking view. But they are also a backdrop of the striking poverty reminding you that you are in a third world country. Shacks built of rusty metal and some unrecognizable materials occupy the sides of the road. They are homes for thousands of Jamaicans, and while you drive by you see some of them doing their daily business or simply sitting in the shade and relaxing.
You arrive to your resort which again is a striking contrast to what you have seen on your way there. Most Jamaican hotels are examples of luxury and comfort which are reflected in their far above average prices. You will find the resort staff friendly and welcoming. Let them care about your luggage and go to the nearby diner to enjoy some of the best food in Caribbean.
‘Nyam’ is Jamaican for ‘to eat’. Jamaicans are well known meat-eaters and their favorite dishes are jerk chicken and pulled pork. Patties are also delicious, filled with meat and vegetables, sometimes too hot and spicy. Be careful — most traditional dishes have bones in them, don’t be shy to pick them out of your mouth and place them on the side of your plate, everybody does so.
Be sure to try two famous brands of Jamaica: Blue Mountais Coffee and Red Stripe Beer. And don’t miss the awesome liquor they have there: Pimento Dram.
If you want to have some shopping fun, go to a local market, like the one in Ocho Rios. Enjoy the whirling atmosphere of a Jamaican marketplace where hundreds of merchants are desperately trying to sell you things you’d never need. Some will meet you before you get into their booth and take you inside constantly talking and piling one item on another into your face.
Jamaica’s gems are not just white beaches or glorious nature. Jamaican people, vibrant and friendly folk are the true treasure of the island.
Humore in the work place
Ihad a sense of humour that went unmatched by any mortal soul. I was quick-witted, smart,sharp, and knew every gag and joke available to humanity. Mostof it, Ilearned in college, but college never really did teach the fact that having a sense of humor in the workplace is different than ‘jocularity’ After a few brushes with career-chaos, Irealized that the definition of’corporate humour’dealswith how one handles oneself ans not how one can elicit laughter.
wher did this come from???
One of my friends came to visit and relax a bit, because i am a hypnotherapist he thinks this helps him, he and i went out for a drink, during the course of the evening, he brought up some issues about his current job situation. After some introductory words, we discussed the issue that he seems to get blamed for some of the stupidest things, that he never did, and no one takes him seriously anymore. Then, he cracked some joke abiut it and we carried on.
Not being taken seriously by your peers is actually a common problem with people who do have a sense of humor. But, funny has no place in the work place and can easily wreak havoc on an otherwise blossoming career.
So no more laughter ???
Of course, kaughter is necessary in life, but, in a professional setting, it becomes a different type of laughter.One situation you will encounter as you move through your career is the sriousness of professionalism. Of,course, to some,this is not a problem. But,to those that have a funny bone, this is a big problem and a detriment to one’s career.
You have to realize that when your boss asks if you have a sense of humor, he’s not asking if your a clown. What he is asking is whether or not you can accept criticism, deal with difficult peopl, and gracefully handle mistakes without snapping people’s heads off when things get stressful. It is important and considered professional to be able to take criticism lightly as it is sometimes used as a tool of ‘turf wars’ than an actual personal attack.
— Hey, that was funny! —
If you begin to crack jokes and make snide remarks, you will eventually not be taken seriously in the workplace. You will be seen as someone who wastes time because every time that someone approaches you to discuss a project or other issues with you, some of that time is spent explaining your humorous comments. Additionally, many corporate-minded individuals do not have the time to analyze comments with hidden meanings and will take what you say as absolute. Therefore, if you make a ‘stupid’ comment in hopes of eliciting a smile, your comment will be taken as an absolute and a representation of your professionalism in the workplace. Finally, if your comments do have hidden meanings or contain humorous connotations, then anything you say will be taken as unreliable, thus labeling you as unreliable.
Realize that the corporate culture labels you by ‘visible change,’ not completely by merit. What I mean is, the last way you presented yourself is the way that you will be seen in the workplace. If you are a serious, pleasant, and hard worker, you will be seen that way. If you crack a joke in the middle of a serious moment, from then on, you will be seen as a joker.
— Look over there! —
One thing to keep in mind is that many people crack jokes and make ‘humorous’ comments when they are uncomfortable or lack confidence in a situation. If this applies to you, realize that your peers know this as well. Being overly humorous under stress gives off a sign of weakness within the workplace and will also cause you to be ousted from the ranks.
Try to find another outlet for discomfort or confidence issues. Perhaps a favorite ink pen or a small quartz crystal to toy with in such situations will remind you to maintain your professional façade as well as keep you calm.
— Watch what you say! —
One of the big problems facing corporate cultures today is that, in general, everyone is ‘sensitive’ to everything. Instead of working together for a common goal, there are individuals that stay on their toes looking for that one thing that they can use to cause some sort of upheaval within the culture. With that, corporate-minded peers are also on the lookout for those who might do or say something to upset those sensitive individuals.
Because of this situation, there truly is no room in a standard corporate culture for remarks and comments that in certain groups might otherwise be humorous. You have to realize that when you speak within a corporate culture, be concise, be realistic, and do not add comedic breaks or sarcasm. Since everyone is taking everything ‘seriously’ with a ‘sense of humor’ for themselves, then whatever you say will be taken seriously and could easily land you in hot water.
To alleviate the chance of being misinterpreted, keep emotion and personal beliefs out of the context of your conversations. Basically, listen closely and be concise in what you say. Not only does this eliminate the problem of having people take you wrong, but it also saves a lot of time.
— The Deadly Silence —
There are several little games played within the corporate environment to elicit a fatal comment from the unwary. The most deadly game is the ‘long pause.’ In many cases, you might sit before your boss, or peers, and provide information on a particular subject or project. During the course of the discussion, you notice that your audience appears to be listening to everything you say. Then, at the end of your soliloquy, the audience seems dead or stuck in a mental time warp. This pause can last for as long as 10 seconds.
During this pause, it might seem as though your audience is mulling through your comments, but this is not entirely the case. They are creating an uncomfortable pause for you to begin doubting your comments in hopes that you divulge additional information and demonstrate your lack of confidence and discomfort.
This situation will get you every single time if you’re not aware that it is only a game. One purpose of this game is so that the audience can acquire additional information from you that you would have otherwise never divulged. On the other hand, the audience might be trying to acquire your nonsensical traits from your discomfort to use during a future turf war. Again, be concise, and then listen. Wait out the infinite pause without saying a word and you’ll see that they were just waiting for you to speak.
— What’s next? —
Realize that you can still have fun and enjoy your work without the frolicky antics of a pubescent employee. One mishap can destroy a lifetime of kudos making it is easier to fall from graces than to repair a reputation. Companies want people they can count on 100% of the time, not just when you’re serious and comfortable. Focus, take responsibility, move forward competently, and produce quality results.
If you’ve already fallen because of your sense of humor, then you will have to work hard to get back into the good graces of the culture. All you have to do is maintain a professional façade, realize that corporate America is ‘not personal,’ and motivate in your career with confidence.
There appears little doubt that one of the major adverse influences on job satisfaction, work performance, absenteeism, turnover and productivity, is the incidence of stress at work. Stress is a source of tension and frustration that may arise through a number of interrelated influences on behavior, including the individual, group, organizational and environmental factors. In a recent survey into attitudes to work, when a random sample of 1,000 workers was asked to specify the biggest problem at work, the second most common response (after poor pay – 18%) was stress at 17%. This would seem to support the contention that stress is a problem of the nineties.
The causes of stress are complex. Stress is also a very personal experience, as is the response of each individual to it and their beliefs about how best to cope with the causes and the effects of stressful situations. Although considered as having a negative impact, a certain amount of stress may be seen as positive and even as a good thing, which helps and promotes a high level of performance. Keeping the balance is the challenging task of management.
The five situations that are most commonly considered as stressful are the following:
- Responsibility for the work of others – conflicting objectives of groups and organizations, groups and individuals, self and superiors.
- Innovative functions – conflicting priorities and different psychological demands between the routine and administrative aspects of the job and the creative side.
- Integrative or boundary functions – the stressful role of the coordinator, due to the lack of control over the demand of their resources.
- Relationship problems – difficulties with a boss, subordinates or colleges.
- Career uncertainty – doubtful future career prospects affect the whole of a person’s work
There are a number of techniques by which individuals may bring stress under control. For example, changing your viewpoint; putting your problems into perspective; learning to laugh at life; not worrying and working on stress reduction; not talking yourself down; and not attempting to slow your life down.
In addition, companies have initiated internal programs to reduce the fatigue or stress from working on a specific position for a long period of time. In fact, job rotation is the most basic form of individual job design. It involves moving a person from one job or task to another. It attempts to add some variety and to help remove boredom, at leads in the short term. However, if the tasks involved are all very similar and routine, then once the person is familiar with the new task the work may quickly prove boring again.
Job rotation may lead to the acquisition of additional skills but does not necessarily develop their levels. Strictly, job rotation is not really job design, because neither the nature of the task nor the method of working is restructured. However, it may help a person identify more with the completed product or service. It can also be used as a form of training and it can reduce stress that is associated with managing the increased responsibilities of a specific role in a company.
There are two major places that the average persons daily stress comes from, work and home. But of the two work seems to be the biggest stressor. Since most people have to work for a living the time constraints and monotonous day in, day out schedule seems to be the number one complaint, followed by, an obnoxious boss, work load and the tedious gossiping co-workers.
This article is for those feeling stress from the work place. Stress at work can be managed. Do not feel as though there is nothing that can be done about it. The pressures of working to support ourselves or family are real. What you need to do is realize stress is inevitable and learn some tricks on how to deal with it.
Here are a few that may help when you feel overwhelmed at work and feel your stress level rising:
1. Take a break:
Get up and leave the office. Go to a quite place where you can clam down and regroup, do not bring a cell phone or an equipment that may disturb your serenity. Take a little walk. A change in atmosphere some time will help refresh your mind.
2. Talk it out:
When someone has pushed you to your limit, walk away. Ask a friend if they have some time to hear you vent and help you deal with your anxiety over the situation. Talking for about 20 minutes helps you calm down and keeps you from saying or doing things that would just make the situation worse.
3. Stretch:
Take a few minutes and do some breathing and stretching exercises. It does have to be intensive just enough to get your head cleared and blood pumping a bit. A little exercise will help elevate your mood.
4. Eat and Drink:
Take a break and enjoy a nutritious snack. A calorie-laden donut will just make you sluggish; try a bran muffin. Have a nice relaxing cup of tea. This should help give you enough energy to sustain you the rest of the day.
5. Laugh:
Laughter lowers blood pressure, brings in more oxygen to your body, and relaxes tense muscles. Try calling a friend with a good sense of humor when you fell like you are losing it. Learn some good, non-offensive jokes for you and you office workers, humor is a great way to unwind and relax. Learn to laugh at everyday situations; it can turn a tiring day at work into an enjoyable day.
I am really beginning to have a problem with some of the “customer service” I’ve gotten lately,specifically with Sprint/Nextel.
they called me and “thanked” me for making a payment on my account,however I am “past due” and my service will be discontinued on Saturday.OK, I’m about $24.00 past due from last month.My payment was due on the 26th of September and this is the 10th of October.
Now,mind you, I have an account spending limit of $125,which my current balance is well under that (@$45 under).Now according to their site I have $101.66 left on my limit.This figure comes off their site.How do they figure that?
Anyway,the Customer Service Rep advised me that my phone would be shut off on Saturday due to my being $24 past due for 14 days.Even the major phone companies like ATT and Bellsouth give you more time than that.
I asked the rep why I was being shut off.I was still well under my ASL and have every intention of paying the $24.00 but couldn’t understand their way of thinking.It seems that the ASL doesn’t really count for anything.If nothing else,it creates more problems.If you don’t pay your account in full by the due date,they will shut you off.
Now don’t get me wrong,I want to pay my bill.Right now,I’m out of work and don’t get much in unemployment so I have to budget my money.I pay part of my bill online every 2 weeks so I don’t get behind.The rep said that they would work out payment arrangements for me.They want me to pay the full balance of my account,$80.00,NOW.
My problem is that $57 isn’t due until the 27th of October.
Are they hurting for money? When you pay your bill you are paying for service you haven’t used yet.To me,that’s kind of like paying your winter utility bills in July based on what they think you are going to use.Makes no sense.The worst part is the “customer service” rep don’t want to listen.
Overall,I like Sprint.I’ve been with them for 5 years and have had good phone service.The problems are always the same,though.I have been disconnected before for being .96 past due.Why?
After this episode I started doing some searching on the internet.I found that Sprint is well known for this and for poor customer service.I considered switching companies,but I’m afraid it will be the same thing no matter where I go.
After all of this rambling my point is,whatever happened to good customer service? Whatever happened to talking to the customer and explaining what is going on?What happened to making sure the customer is satisfied?It just doesn’t seem to matter to these large companies anymore.The bigger the companies get,the less they care.
I managed restaurants for about 17 years and was trained to take care of the customer and make sure they were satisfied.I’m not saying that I was the perfect manager,but I tried.
I really think that companies should take a step back and take a look at what is going on .They are in for a big surprise.
The right combination between food and wine is a source of ultimate bliss for every connoisseur. Both wine and food can benefit from the right pairing. The right wine can accentuate unexpected gastronomical aspects of food and vice versa, wine can shine in a new light when accompanied by the right dish. In order to savor the splendor of such combinations, one does not need to frequent expensive restaurants and buy overpriced wines. Rather, when combining food and wine it is one’s intuition and curiosity that are of paramount importance.
Most rules for agreeable food – wine combinations date back to the 19th century and are made by French cooks who travel around Europe showing other nations the French savoir-vivre. It is since then that we know that champagne goes well with oysters, white wine – with seafood, and red wine – with game and red meats. Those rules, however, have been broken many times throughout the years because the nature of certain dishes and the rich wine variety available allow for a much freer interpretation. For example, some red meats could be made more enjoyable by stronger white wines.
A more practical approach for combining wine with food is to avoid any possible dissonance between them. For example, an exceptional wine stands out much better when accompanied by a not so sophisticated dish that will bring out the wine’s superb qualities instead of fighting with it. Certain wines and foods have “found” each other over the years and represent especially suitable combinations. Generally those are the regional wines and foods. Almost all local dishes go best with the wines from their regions.
Some tips for making good food – wine choices:
Try to balance the weight of both, i.e. heavy dishes and those with a strong taste, such as game and red meat should be enjoyed with an equally heavy wine. In most cases those are red wines but some full-bodied whites could be an equally suitable alternative.
Dry wines could develop a very unpleasant sour or even bitter taste if served with desserts. Generally deserts are served with wines that are at least comparably sweet, if not sweeter.
Wines with high acidity go best with heavy, rich in fat dishes. This is because the high fat content negates the impact of the acid.
High-tannin wines should be combined with foods rich in proteins. The proteins combine with the tannins, thus diminishing the tannin taste. Wines made from grape varieties that contain a lot of tannins, such as Cabernet Sauvignon and Syrah are an excellent match for red meats and other protein-rich foods. On the other hand, high-tannin wines acquire an unpleasant metallic taste if combined with fish and other seafood. Or they could have an extremely bitter taste when combined with salty dishes.
So finally… which wine? You could have in mind the rules above when making your selection but don’t be blinded by them and never take things for granted. Even when you are convinced that you have found the perfect wine for a certain dish, a small change, such as a bad yield, a change in the production technology, or other, could disappoint you. So have an open mind and be ready to experiment. Needless to say, a lot of times the results would be a bit strange but that’s what will make the whole experience interesting!!
A little bit about me i am a registered hypnotherapist & psychotherapy counsellor
Dream Medicine
Nightmares and night terrors are common in childhood and aren’t usually a sign of any underling problem. Nightmares can happen at any age, they are simply bad dreams. a child usually wakes up feeling upset, and needs comforting, nightmares and dreams, happen during REM (rapid eye movement) phase of sleep. During the night, the brain goes through several stages of sleep and around every hour and a half swiches into REM phase. REM sleep phase last longer as the night goes on which is why most dreams and nightmares happen towards morning.
Children that suffer from night terrors or bad dreams, can succesfully be treated with this dream medicine, it will take you one or two days to set up, but after that if you follow the instructions to the letter. The problem will be solved, so contact me and i will explain how to obtain the instructions, so everybody gets a good night’s sleep.
As you can see this is just one of many problems that can be sorted out
have a nice christmas.